“Why was I banned without any further notice?”
I have to deal with so many messages and other tasks related to the group everyday, and keep in mind that’s an unpaid job. So just imagine how much time and energy I would give in just to tell ppl why they were banned. And actually that’s not a good idea, since banned ppl just want to get a fight in my dms - which already proves my decision to ban them. So speaking about that, maybe it’s good to say clearly: if you get ban, don’t come to the admin on her pms. Is just a FB group, get over it.
“Why my post is taking long to be accepted?”
Keep in mind that this is a big group, so there are always a lot of posts in the line to be approved. Also keep in mind that I read the posts, to see if they are appropriate or not - and that can take some time as well. So just wait a bit, most posts get around 1 day to be approved.
“I wrote to the admin but she didn’t text me back. Why?”
I have to deal with so many messages and other tasks related to the group everyday, and keep in mind that’s an unpaid job. So yeah, things won’t be always perfect and your msg might get lost in the middle of hundreds of other msgs. If it’s about something REALLY important, then text me again, so I can see your msg on the top. But if you spam me, I might block you.
“The admin sounds cold when she msgs me…”
Sorry, I’m actually really warm and friendly but keep in mind what I do here it’s an unpaid job, so I try to make the most of my time when it comes to deal with tasks related to the group. That means I might be very straight when we are talking on msgs. Please don’t take that personal, I’m just trying to answer quickly to answer everybody and deal with the other task related to the group and my life :)
“I think I have some ideas to make the group better…”
Cool! Write them to me, I’m open to always make the group better :)
But because I’m busy with other things as well (personal life, work…) I might take a longer time to answer. But I read most of the msgs, even if I don’t answer them.
“I think I have some ideas to make the group better…”
Cool! Write them to me, I’m open to always make the group better :)
But because I’m busy with other things as well (personal life, work…) I might take a longer time to answer. But I read most of the msgs, even if I don’t answer them.
“Why 'expat' and why 'ladies'?”
I understand some people can get frustrated with the name sometimes but I would like to explain how I chose this name: the idea of this group started after I saw some mixed groups with “expat” in the name, so for me was just obvious to make the version for women with “expat” in the name. For me "expat" was just another word for "immigrant". And I chose “ladies” basically bc I thought it sounded good with the rest of the title.
Years after that I totally understand these words are not the most correct ever, but I don't think they are offensive. And I still like the way it sounds, as a titel and a lot of ppl get to know the group by searching for the word “expat”. I'm afraid if I change the name, not many ppl will find the group - I already ran 2 surveys asking ppl how the got to know the group and most of them mentioned that they searched for the word "expat" and they also mention that in the onboarding questions. So I try to not focus on the name of the group, but in what it's inside. But for sure we are all immigrants, in the end.
And about the "ladies" word, also non binary and trans women are welcome. But I’m a cis hetero women so unfortunately, as much as I try to educate myself, maybe I’m not the best moderator for some lgbtqi+ issues, sometimes. That’s why it’s good to have different groups on fb so we can have different perspectives from different types of people.
“My post was approved and after couple it was deleted, why”
Because I’m reading, approving and managing several msgs related to the group, I might approve some posts sometimes by mistake and see that just later. Also, for the sake of my mental health and the good vibes of the group, I might delete some posts when the comments start being a bit way too heated up. But this is a rare case.
“Why was this post approved i dont like it i dont agree w it im triggered by it”
As I mentioned before, in this group there are a lot of women from different countries, different cultures, backgrounds, history… That means that not everybody is gonna think the same way you think. Even if I personally don’t agree with certain posts, I try to moderate the group almost with very few filter, mostly for ads, spams and very outrageous posts. But I think it’s important that ppl speak what they have in their mind, so other ppl can share their opposite opinions and experiences (if they have time, energy and are willing to do so)
“Being empathetic sounds a bit too subjective. what do you mean by that”
Having in mind all the women here are also different ppl, I understand if being empathetic and nice sound a bit subjective. For me the most important thing, and what I’m basing myself to delete a comment and bann a person is: laughing reactions (unless the op it’s clearly making a joke at some point in her post), talking in a passive aggressive way, using irony and sarcasm to communicate and ofc, insulting a person calling her bitch, dumb, idiot, etc.
If you get angry with a post, don’t make comments right away. Wait 5 mins, take a deep breath and think if it’s really worth it in engaging in a drama or adding full to the flame, bc maybe that might backfire.
